if i were (and was) in your shoes, with a need to buy / finite time, and also with the preapproval (very important, not only for the sellers, but also for your own sanity -- you can know immediately what is and is not reasonable for you to buy) -- and looking for first home -- i think it's all about grabbing the first home that Works For You, that you Really Like. i guess it depends on how big of a window, how big of a percentage, of the homes you think you will like (from both a subjective, personal point of view, as well as objective, reality, hard facts point of view -- e.g., the electrical system/modernity requirements). and it also depends on the market -- pretty much both our first home ('97) and our 'final' 2nd home ('99) were bought in a hot buyers and sellers market, where prices were high(er) and demand from buyers was high and sellers were happy and buyers were edgy, 'cause (properly priced) houses would sell in days, not weeks. (we sold our first home in less than 24 hours -- and only after i had "given in" to our realtor on the market price, 'cause i thought it was way too high. it was almost exactly 1/3 higher than what we had bought it for, less than 2 years prior!!!) (also, we bought our 2nd home within 24 hours of going on the market -- we saw it the night it went on the market, and made a (over)bid that night. more about that later). anyway, the market now isn't as hot, so i don't think you need to worry anywhere near as much about losing a house out from under you to another buyer -- it can happen, but it's not as cutthroat.
a lot of thoughts. first one, you mention realtor this, realtor that a lot. agreeing with other comments, it's the sellers choice on accepting an offer. they can take the first one, they can wait, whatever ... but typically when a buyer makes an offer, the offer itself (which is a legal obligation offer!!!) has a time limit -- it must be accepted/rejected within a certain # days, i believe 1 or 2 days isn't unreasonable. and, if you make an offer, with a preapproval, that meets or exceeds the asking price, and they refuse, but still haven't accepeted ANOTHER offer ... i'm not sure but i bet you could start legal investigation (if you were a minority, i'm sure you could). i don't think that happens though -- if you really want a house, have preapproval, and your offer meets/exceeds, and they don't have another offer to consider, they should bite. if you think others might be making offers (i.e., Great house just went on the market, you see it first day, lots of ppl looking at it from the sign in sheet, feedback from YOUR realtor), and you really want it, then put a $ amount on that desire -- a % of total price -- and maybe offer a little more. grabbing #s out of the air, a 100K house, maybe offer 102K. or 105K. or 110K. (ranging from i'd really like this, to i REALLY REALLY want this one, to absolutele @#$%ing ridiculous (10% extra?!!).
following up on the "YOUR" realtor comment -- your wording makes me think you don't have your own "buyer's" realtor (i could be wrong). you should get one. they know the market, the area, the prices, the legalities, good for Q&A, etc. they can do legwork for you. and many house sales will have a 6% realtor fee built in anyway, typically for 3% to seller's realtor, 3% to buyer's realtor. from the two house buys we did, i'd say they're invaluable. but find someone you really want to work with...
advice? Part 1
a lot of thoughts. first one, you mention realtor this, realtor that a lot. agreeing with other comments, it's the sellers choice on accepting an offer. they can take the first one, they can wait, whatever ... but typically when a buyer makes an offer, the offer itself (which is a legal obligation offer!!!) has a time limit -- it must be accepted/rejected within a certain # days, i believe 1 or 2 days isn't unreasonable. and, if you make an offer, with a preapproval, that meets or exceeds the asking price, and they refuse, but still haven't accepeted ANOTHER offer ... i'm not sure but i bet you could start legal investigation (if you were a minority, i'm sure you could). i don't think that happens though -- if you really want a house, have preapproval, and your offer meets/exceeds, and they don't have another offer to consider, they should bite. if you think others might be making offers (i.e., Great house just went on the market, you see it first day, lots of ppl looking at it from the sign in sheet, feedback from YOUR realtor), and you really want it, then put a $ amount on that desire -- a % of total price -- and maybe offer a little more. grabbing #s out of the air, a 100K house, maybe offer 102K. or 105K. or 110K. (ranging from i'd really like this, to i REALLY REALLY want this one, to absolutele @#$%ing ridiculous (10% extra?!!).
following up on the "YOUR" realtor comment -- your wording makes me think you don't have your own "buyer's" realtor (i could be wrong). you should get one. they know the market, the area, the prices, the legalities, good for Q&A, etc. they can do legwork for you. and many house sales will have a 6% realtor fee built in anyway, typically for 3% to seller's realtor, 3% to buyer's realtor. from the two house buys we did, i'd say they're invaluable. but find someone you really want to work with...