Max Update

[dancerjodi]

This morning he wasn't at the bottom of the stairs mewing at me to give him food. He actually was standing kind of confused looking off into space on the loveseat, like he wanted to get down but didn't have it in him. I carried him to the kitchen and got his food together and gave him his insulin shot. The whole time he ate he was making this awful noise, really struggling to breathe. After feeding the buns and taking a shower and dressing he was back on the loveseat (he had climbed up himself), curled into a little kitty ball. I sat with him for a bit before leaving for work. He was purring, but his breathing was still pretty poor.

Today is actually the first time that I've thought that maybe soon it will be time. I thought that maybe we should take him in to the vet's office soon before things get worse so that he'll be at peace. He hasn't lost control of his bodily functions and he's still eating, and he's still with it mentally (these 3 things have been what I've been keeping in my head as indicators for it being the end for him or not), but he's gone from having sporadic bad times with breathing to being asthmatic and kind of struggling with it all of the time. He just looks even thinner to me too. Having suffered from asthma myself, I know how much it sucks to have difficulty breathing, and how it can be scary when there's nothing you can do about it.

And then I ask myself if that's what he'd want, if this is the easy way out for Brian and I, and if I'm being selfish. Its so hard with an animal (compared to a human) because they can't communicate in the same way as your or I. I know we've done a lot for him - a lot more than many other people would do. I know that Max has had a very long, loving and supported life thus far. Still, making the decision to end a pet's life versus finding them already gone is quite different. Brian and I really have to talk about this.

Comments

[legitimatelove.livejournal.com]

Much love to you, B and, of course, Max.

[msdaisy.livejournal.com]

*hugs* It's so hard to go through this with a pet. I'm sorry Max is feeling so rotten. Wishing you and Brian and Max some comfort and peace. And easy breathing for poor Max. *hug*

[devina.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[sanguineempathy.livejournal.com]

*hugs* and strength for having to make this very hard decision. My thoughts are with you, Brian and of 'course Max.

[nepenthedreams]

My parents had to make this decision with Harley. The vet said that they could do a surgery, but that it would be very painful for him (too risky to give him any painkillers at that point) and there was a high chance he'd die during the surgery, or within a few months afterwards. They decided it would be better just to say goodbye. I can't imagine how hard that must have been.

[fieryredhead.livejournal.com]

*love to both of you and the fur kid*

[gospog.livejournal.com]

For us, this was just weeks ago.

Our prayers and thoughts are with you.

[goat.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

(if you do decide to put him to sleep, I'd like to suggest trying to find a travelling vet so he doesn't have to go through the fear and disorientation of going to the vet's office. I know of someone who provides this service, if you were interested, I could find out if she travels to Waltham for you.)

Much love and comfort.

[danaecormac.livejournal.com]

I know this may sound 'out there' to you, but why don't you ask Max what he wants. Sit with him in your lap, center yourself (concentrate on your breathing, let any thoughts just float through your mind, but don't dwell on them), imagine him sitting on your lap with the love you both have for each other surrounding you and that both of you are open to receiving messages from each other and then ask him what he wants. I'll bet that he tells you. If not in that moment, then in the dreamstate. Has Max ever visited you in your dreams? If he has, then perhaps he will communicate with you in that state.

We did this with my cat Mags and she told us that she didn't want to have insulin shots, etc.

Lots and lots and lots of love to you, Brian and Max!

[alonewiththemoon]

You have all my sympathy. It's very hard not to feel like you are second-guessing yourself at every step. But I think you just have to have faith in your compassion for Max, and that when you make the decision, it will be the right time. Yes, life gets easier when you aren't caring for a geriatric pet, but that's just a simple fact, it's not something you should feel guilty over, or feel like you are letting it control when you make that decision.

(that said, I'm still not really over some of these same issues myself--it is such a hard thing to deal with)

[deadwinter.livejournal.com]

Oh man, this hurts. Poor kitty.

I think that the thing to do here is to treat Max like a person. From a purely rational standpoint, try to determine if he is suffering, and if it seems to you that his suffering outweighs his enjoyment of life. Then make your decision.

Animals don't know what is happening to them. But I bet they don't want to suffer, and they have no conception of what death is. Every organism's instinct is to keep going, but we are the only ones who know that ending suffering is an option.

[miss-manners.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I know how hard this is when it's a sudden thing so I can't imagine having done all you have for Max knowing in the end you'll face this. I know you and Brian in the end will do what's best for him and him alone...while you may question your motives I have great faith in their purity.

If I can do anything at all for you two (or for Max for that matter) just let me know.

[maudlinkitty.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry to hear he's in such a state. I've had to make that decision before for animals and it's never easy. All I can say is that if he starts going to the door, that's a good sign he's ready. I've known a lot of animals (including my own) that wanted to leave before they pass on.

You have my sympathy and my admiration. You've done more for that cat than most people would do. You've given him a very fulfilling life. Good luck with everything.

~kat

[dionysia.livejournal.com]

*hug*

I know what a hard decision this is. It was difficult for my parents and me to let Spring (my cat as a child) go. To echo danaecormac, after many surgeries (she had cancer), when Spring was doing poorly, I came home from Boston to visit my parents. I held her and she looked at me and I knew it was time for her to be at peace.

[blondeamazon.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Much strength to you all and my sympathies, as well.

[ggirl.livejournal.com]

My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

[roaming.livejournal.com]

Well, if Max is anything like the cats that have owned me, he'll let you know. It will feel right when the time comes. Or, he'll take the decision out of your hands, and you may wake up and find he's drifted off himself while you slept. Whatever happens, I hope you'll all be at peace.

I still miss my Gwydion, who left that way when I was away in NYC. Thor found him "asleep" under the bed. But he's still here in the house, keeping us company. It's a happy haunting.