Fertility

[dancerjodi]

Lots of thoughtful stuff here http://www.tnr.com/article/politics/magazine/110861/how-older-parenthood-will-upend-american-society# . 

Comments

[spitcurl.livejournal.com]

My ballpark for all of my adult life was, "If I'm 35, and not in a relationship/financial place where this looks like an option soon, I'll give up on having kids."

As it is, I didn't get married until 35. And when presented with the idea of RIGHT THEN, I thought, OH GODS NO! But I was not ready to give up the notion altogether either.

Since then, I've watched so many older friends become moms post-35, that I've cut myself some slack. I also watched 42 Up, one of the every 7 years documentaries, and saw how different lives changed over decades, some not even finding love/families until after 40. Who is to say what is best?

I have a friend who married in her early 20s, the youngest of 6 kids, who we all expected to be a mom first. Turns out they are infertile, and now at 37, after over a decade of trying, they are going through the lengthy adoption process. I'm so proud and happy for her. She'll be no less a mom than a biological one. I have another friend who just married/became a stepdad to two growing boys, a dad unexpectedly. Life is way more complicated and potentially awesome than we dream up for our future selves.

That said, I've watched my dad deal with trying to pry my younger sister out of the house for years, and is now retired, and can't get rid of her. Any kid of ours is getting a trunk at 16 to fill up with away from home supplies, and a 1-year post-high school buffer, to use when needed, either before college, after college, or a divorce, etc—up to a year at home as an adult, and no more. No adult freeloaders. I don't care what the economy is up to, they can go join the Peace Corps. ;)

And any said kids will also get a warning from us on the issues/costs of both waiting too long to breed, as well as breeding too early, to help them make sound choices.