dancerjodi

Our plan all along was to put Mina into the Playschool that is at her current center (they enroll kids infant through kindergarden). They may not be the "best" and surely aren't exclusive at all, but it has been a good fit for her. They have become an extended family of sorts for us and have been flexible with her/our needs.

She's just been early for a lot of things: walking, talking, complex talking. She moved into the toddler room early and though the Preschool room is on paper intended for age 3, they are starting the process of doing her readiness assessment for the preschool now, with the assumed plan of her starting there in September (she turns 3 in late January). They would go through their assessment, review all of the results with us, we'd go back and forth and if all were in agreement we'd fill out a lot of paperwork and she'd start in that room. The director of the center said that they have concerns about her getting bored with the activities/lack of structure in the toddler room. She appears older than all of the kids in there, both in size and verbal ability. She isn't mature enough to handle the preschool structure now, but they don't want to hold her back.

I was kind of blindsided by all of this when I picked her up this week, but it makes sense. Brian and I don't want to rush these early years (thinking too far ahead), but we also want to be prepared.

He and I both have had experiences in schools where we were ahead of what the other kids were doing, and bored. We don't want her to be in that position. When I was born we lived in Wellesley, and we moved to Waltham over winter break when I was in 3rd grade. They wanted us in Catholic school, but they wouldn't admit us mid-year, so I went to the local public school for a 1/2 year. My math and reading abilities were so advanced, that I would leave my class and have private lessons with the librarian (who was also a special ed teacher I think). I remember feeling singled out and awkward about this, and I was even bullied a bit by a couple of kids for it (the followed me home one day taunting me, drilling me on multiplication tables). When I moved to St. Pat's the next year it wasn't much different. In 4th grade I left the class to have math and english with the 5th graders. In 5th grade they were sick of this 'inconvenience' and had me stay with my own class, re-reading the same general english/reading text that I had already read in Wellesley, in 3rd grade! I finished there and did HS at Waltham Public (where I think I actually did thrive, despite being pushed back a bit for 5 years).

Brian was that smart kid in classes where he was bored in the Everett system. They kind of left him to his own devices, and he did a lot of his own pleasure reading. He wanted to be with his friends rather than 'the nerds', and coasted through the general college level courses in a school that almost lost accreditation while he was there. But I digress.

Who knows what kind of things she'll excel in, and where she'll find challenges. Brian has had a lot of concentration issues to deal with. I'm great at multitasking but have a very hard time with memorization and standardized testing (as a result). Plus, she is her own kid.

Brian texted me that one of Mina's friends in the school is going to be leaving. His parents aren't happy with the quality of education in the Preschool, given 'lack of structure'. We'll miss them! They are neighbors of us and have had philosophical similarities to us. I want to give it a chance, but there is this fear in the back of my head that we may need to find a plan B. I have simiar worries about the local kindergarden. I want to support our local neighborhood public school. On paper it is pretty bad, but on paper there is a lot to contend with given the high % of kids that enter who aren't english speaking. As such, lots of resources have been put into that school. Parents I've talked with have been quite happy with it.

Oh the challenges of being responsible for someone's development! I want her to be happy and interested and learn things along the way. I think that in the end, most kids end up at the same place, just at a different pace. I've done find despite my early issues (as has Brian). Who the hell knows.

Over the years I've tried to take steps to be more 'green', less wasteful, more conscious of chemicals and how I consume things. Having a kid and being responsible for all of the 'stuff' she is exposed to makes it yet more important.

I struggle with the cost, convenience and 'green' issues related to things related to Mina. For the most part we gave her organic baby food, and the cleaner of those options. If you actually read the ingredients on the Gerber organics, you'll see a lot of crap in it that isn't food (or added sugar). This came at great expense, but we had the luxury of doing it. We made our own sometimes (as much as cooking and mashing a potato is making your own). But we are both working, and have things to do. There is the formula of time/money/talent to consider.

Convenience and cost really are the big factors. The $10 cotton PJs at Old Navy that come in lots of cute styles and fit her perfectly are such a sticking point. Fit her well. Soft/good for her skin. Cheap. Easily accessible. But Old Navy = Gap companies = questionable labor practices. I can't bring myself to spend $30 on organic PJs online, that take a while to arrive at our front steps, that may or may not fit her, and if they do, she'll only wear for a short time. On one level I'm OK with this - you make an educated decision and do what works for you. But Old Navy! We have tried to find good-quality stuff in hand me downs from friends or at thrift stores, and have succeeded for the most part with the exception of the PJs. That counts for something, right?

I've had similar struggles with her bed. I'd like her to have the schmancy, 'green' mattress like Brian and I do. But she is a kid, that is going to do lots of gross things to that mattress reliably for years. There are covers and all, but really? We ended up getting one cheap at a local shop that sells a good traditional product. We'll splurge on the natural latex when she's older. Convenience, cost, practicality. It is a mattress on the floor, and we've been playing around with options for a simple frame. Low to the ground, something we can put a rail on. There is the convenient/cheap/easy route (Ikea) which is quite disposeable and made with questionable materials. The next level is more work/time (Craigslist). A local wood furniture store has a simple wood-platform style one which isn't crazy costly, so we may go with that. Her mattress is sliding all over on the floor so she ends up between the bed and the wall OR rolls out and across the floor.

We are learning that parenting is all about the balance. Sometimes having some kind of fruit is more important than having local/organic/fresh fruit. Sometimes, you gotta buy the processed pears in water in a plastic-sealed cup so that you have something in the morning when life has dictated that you can't get to the grocery store for something perishable. Sometimes you just gotta order a pizza.

We all experienced this kind of stuff and 'we all came out fine'. Only time will tell what health/societal impacts have come from our quick/easy/instant lifestyles. Folks didn't know 50 years ago what cigarettes would do to them. I wonder, what did I do to my kid now that will be something seen as just terrible years from now? I think the most important thing I've gained as a parent in myself, is the ability to just chill a bit and let those kinds of thoughts go, just to get through the day sometimes. There is always an argument on one side or the other. You could make yourself crazy trying to be "perfect".

Anyway, this rambling brought to you by a cold, quiet Friday morning at work. Have a wonderful weekend, peeps.

It was announced today that all Isis Parenting stores are closing suddenly today. So sad!

Brian and I purchased quite a bit of things from Isis both before and after Mina was born. I took a pumping class there and did many of their free webinars. I brought Mina to the International Latch On event to try and break a world record of the most women breastfeeding simultaneously. I rented a hospital-grade pump from them, and met with a lactation consultant right before I went back to work to deal with supply/lazy eating issues.

Now that Mina is 2 and it has been over a year since she stopped nursing, they aren't so important with day to day stuff for us. Though, I still think of them in those early, sensitive, serious days. It is like an old family member dying.

Such a great service, and such great loss to families in the Boston area and beyond. :(

We have had a random mix of sleeping and cosleeping in our house since we've had Mina.

Before she was born we rearranged things in the house so that there was room for a small travel-sized pack n play next to the bed on my side, figuring I'd nurse her and then put her back down to sleep. Real life doesn't always mimic imagined life with an infant. She was a tired eater, and would nurse for a bit before falling asleep on me. She was basically eating all of the time, for weeks. For the first couple of weeks we slept with her on the couches in our living room, Brian taking care of her in those rare times I wasn't nursing.

When Brian was back at work full time at the 2 week mark, I moved up to the bedroom. I kept her in the bed and figured out the nursing in bed technique (this took some time, particularly on one side that as more difficult to get her latched on). It was a hard, lonely couple of months. We slept this way until I went back to work at 12 weeks. Brian slept in the den and was fully rested. I nursed Mina through the night (every hour or so) and changed her on a pad on the bed when she was messy. Thinking back now though, I miss how that little snuggle baby fit in the crook of my body. Switching breasts was tough. At first I would just flip my head from the head of the bed to the foot of the bed, keeping her in the middle. I tried to prop her up on a pillow and nurse the other side over the top of my body, but that was just awkward. Eventually I just got a bed rail for the outside of the bed, so I'd just move her from side to side.

Once Brian came back to the bed, we transitioned to putting her down in the cosleeper (we had moved the travel pack n play and bought a cosleeper) to sleep at first. We'd have a couple of glorious hours without a baby to care for. We'd tiptoe into the room to go to sleep, and once she awoke for that first night feeding, she'd come into the bed. Cosleeper on the side, Mom there to feed, baby in the middle or between me and the cosleeper, and Dad on the other side. We slept on top of the bed with throw blankets over us, so that Mina was safe of any suffocation hazards. She was usually curled up in the crook of my body. We made it work. Brian could change her mid night and I could use the bathroom. We were sleeping for multiple hour chunks at a time. There were times where she'd start stirring and I'd notice, and stick her on a boob, and Brian didn't even wake up.

It got to the point where it was clear that she was sleeping better out of the bed. She spent more time in her room, in her crib. We sold the cosleeper and put a rail on the side of the bed. We would start the night putting her in her room initially, and when she'd wake, to our bed. Sometimes I'd just nurse her in the rocker and put her back in the crib. It would all depend on how soon it was until wakeup time, or how well she was eating. She became a better nurser as she got older, eating more at a session and being able to sleep for longer.

I weaned her off feedings through the night, and she'd only have one to go to bed and then one when waking (also one when I first got home from work with her). Then only one to go to bed. Then she was all bottle all the time. More time in her bed, less in ours. She'd still have cranky nights where she was teething or sick and would come to bed with us, but those grew fewer and fewer. She told us without words, that she wanted to be in her own bed. We'd snuggle/rock in her room and put her down in bed again.

She walked at 9 months, and climbed out of the crib at 16. We took the front off but she was jumping on the bed, pulling on the tall crib sides and they were starting to warp in. So we bought the toddler bed (crib sized mattress). We've had that for around 6 months. She is such a monkey, that she climbs in and out and in and out and in and out, over the side rails, rather than the open foot of the bed. She still has tought nights, but wants us to be with her in her room, while she is in her bed. We'd sit next to the bed or just lay on the floor. For a while we had a nest of blankets and a camping mattress there.

The crawling and us wanting to snuggle sometimes lead us last weekend to buy a twin mattress and put it on the floor. She can climb off and on, but she won't fall in a tired stupor while climbing over wooden rails. She has a nice fun nest for her stuffed animals. It opens up the room hugely (we rearranged the furniture). And WE can snuggle easily with her in her own bed, if need be.

Most nights she sleeps through. Sometimes she wakes up at 4:00 crying for one of us. That parent goes in, puts her blanket on her, and snuggles with her on the bed until she wants to get up (usually between 5-6, though we had a couple of glorious mornings where I went in at 4 and she slept snuggled to me until almost 7).

It is a process. We are selling the toddler bed to someone (via Craigslist) tomorrow. I'll be keeping my eyes open for an actual low frame for her. For now, we have a fun comfy nest of blankets and stuffed animals (her favorite thing evah) on the floor to play in.

It is amazing seeing this kid grow. She will be 2 next Friday.

(Now, naps are another story entirely. She always naps at daycare, very well. With us it is a crapshoot. She always sleeps in the car. Sometimes well at home, sometimes not at all, though we always have quiet time in her room at naptime. She has been so early to do things: roll, crawl, walk, climb, talk. I wonder if she will also be early to drop the nap)

We picked up Brian on Saturday morning. Mina was in the stroller just long enough to be getting antsy by the time I was letting her out to jump into Brian's arms. We headed to breakfast and had a great day together. She was so psyched! I was so psyched.

That night he was trying to put her to bed, and she freaked - anxiety attack kind of freaked, asking for me. I was able to calm her down and put her to bed. Too strange of a week? So much mamma mamma time at bed time? She woke around 1 super cranky/anxiety (hyperventolating) and I was the only one able to get her able to calm down. The next day/night and following were totally normal.

I feel like I did well given what I had to work with, and Mina survived. We both missed him like crazy. He had a good time but missed us like crazy. I'm excited about a lot of normal life stuff for a bit (holidays are cool - we'll all be sleeping at home).

Last night went well. We had dinner with Tio Carlos and played a bit, and watched some of a Little Engine That Could movie on Netflix (Whoopie Goldberg was a voice actor). Mina has been staying up later lately, so I brought her up a bit later for her bath, and Carlos took off for home at that time. I got her clean and she played in the tub a bit, only after pulling all of my tee shirts out of my closet. The girl loves to play with clothes. I am fighting a cold, and so once dressed and her room cleaned up (diaper trash can emptied, clothes out for the next day) I turned down the lights, laid on the floor with a pillow and read/chatted with her. More whispered than chatted, as my voice was struggling. We snuggled on the floor for a long time, and after a final diaper change I convinced her to climb into bed. She wanted company and I held her hand and rubbed her belly until she fell asleep. She slept until 5 AM again (with a slight stirring at midnight, but she resettled herself).

I was super achey and had the chills. It was really cold last night, but I think it was more a slight fever from this cold. I took a HOT shower which was just heavenly. I went downstairs and did what I needed to do for today (take care of dishes, trash out, pack lunches and bags for the morning). I know I should have gone to bed early, but I wanted to just sit with a blanket and watch TV a bit. We have a bunch of old stuff DVRed, so I watched an old episode of Castle. I figure, that stuff is available online if Brian wants to see it in Vegas.

The shower and the rest (and a lot of tea) helped me feel a bit better today. I did wake up around midnight at Mina's rumblings and I was soaked with sweat. I changed and it seems that the fever broke, because I didn't sweat through the next pair of PJs. I'm feeling a ton better today. Not perfect, but not sore/feverish. I'm just drinking tea like it is going out of style, keeping the kleenex nearby. Cough drops just in case. And a lot of hand washing.

This morning went much more smoothly than yesterday. When Mina woke up at 5 I went in her room and we hung out in there rather than my room. I figured, she didn't need to snuggle up in a bed sans-daddy. She got up and got out her box of trains and started playing. We eased into our morning. I slowly turned on more lights and she played. I got my face washed and we both brushed our teeth and then she needed some hugs before I could get into my work clothes. Play some more, hug some more, and then I got her dressed. We fed the bunny and went down to feed the cats. I was actually able to put her down and feed them (granted, she likes trying to wrestle with Mal/pick him up first thing in the morning) before getting her Milk. More hugs, and then I got her lunch bag together. More hugs and then we had some breakfast. She's been having fun with her Learning Tower http://www.littlepartners.com/the-learning-tower/ (thanks to our friends Tom and Lee who had one in a corner of their porch unused for years). She stands at the counter while I get her some fruit and some things to play with. She likes being able to watch everything. She had some strawberries and whipped cream, and I was able to get myself some cereal and strawberries. Then we sat in the dining room (her on my lap) for breakfast. More cat snuggles/toy playing/hug needing.

We are trying to limit her screen time, but it does happen. Always when trying to change her diaper or get her in the car seat (we have an old iphone that we have some movies saved on). Seeing "Big Siri" aka our TV is a huge treat for her. I put on the remainder of the Little Engine that Could movie and we watched for about 10 minutes and then called Brian. Having this technology is just amazing: my Dad recounts sad goodbyes with me when he was working and going to college a ton of hours. He is just amazed at how we are able to keep in touch now. We chat with Daddy for a bit and then it is time to get ourselves ready for school, which is not a fast task. Start the truck to get it warm, change the diaper, put on shoes and coats and collect bags. Today she didn't fight me at all (it was a chore yesterday, just doing this). We drove to daycare and she didn't fight me getting out (yesterday she wanted to take 'all the things' into school). We got in, she easily let me take off her coat. She asked to see the babies, and the director picked her up and took her over to the infant room, allowing me to make a clean getaway.

Tonight we are having dinner and then Uncle Sean and Auntie Krista are joining us for food a bit later. Keeping her busy and allowing enough Mom snuggle time is definitely going a long way.

Hey, we are in the middle of the week! Only two more work days and then on Saturday morning we get to go into the airport to pick up daddy!

Mina is purely a toddler now, in the 'terrible two' sense of the word. Most times we are good at figuring out what she is wanting or what her motivations are. Last night was just interesting.

She hasn't wanted to sit in her booster seat/high chair. We long ago dropped the tray and she's up at the table with us. http://www.diapers.com/p/fisher-price-healthy-care-booster-green-blue-85165?site=CA&utm_source=Google&utm_medium=cpc_D&utm_term=FS-437&utm_campaign=GooglePLA&CAWELAID=1338730218&utm_content=pla&ca_sku=FS-437&ca_gpa=pla&ca_kw={keyword} . The seat is a bit high, but without it she is too low. Lately, she just doesn't want to sit in the seat. That's fine - she can sit in the big chair with help. But last night, she wanted to stand on the chair, climb up onto the table. She had little interest in eating her dinner (and she is typically a very good eater). Thankfully, the few bites she had with a glass of milk were enough for her to go to bed and sleep through the night. We were worried she'd be starving later on. This morning was more of the same. She wanted to sit on the chair herself and then on our lap. More and more she wants to mimic the big kid/big adult stuff. I'm wondering if we should find a way to get her little Ikea table into our dining room so she can sit at a kid chair, at a kid table. Of course, I don't want to set that up, because it would make dining at a restaurant difficult. We have similar challenges in restaurants. She doesn't want to be in the high chair, but we've had mixed (mostly negative) results with a booster. She ends up next to us on a chair with the table at chin level (too high) or she ends up on our lap. Or running around the restaurant with one of us, not eating. The girl's gotta move.

We do have another seat we use when travelling sometimes, kind of like this one only the bottom part of the seat is flat http://www.target.com/p/munchkin-travel-booster-seat-purple/-/A-11990151?ref=tgt_adv_XSG10001&AFID=Google_PLA_df&LNM=%7C11990151&CPNG=Baby&kpid=11990151&LID=PA&ci_src=17588969&ci_sku=11990151&gclid=CPfBnaKtjLoCFQSf4Aodv2cAaA . I found at our local thrift store for $2. We tried that on the chair and she didn't want to be strapped into that either. It isn't a height thing as much as a 'baby seat' thing. Amusingly enough, one of her favorite things lately is to sit on this seat on the floor, strap herself in, and then walk around the house with it strapped to her butt. Hilarious!

Have any of you parent friends dealt with this? She's definitely too big/independent for the booster, but she's too small/squrimy for the big chair on her own. It could purely be just her trying to assert herself, since this is one of the ways she can control her environment.

All in all, she is a fairly easy kid and the toddler challenges are totally 'reasonable' and to be expected. There are days though, oh boy! :)

Mina was having a crazy, boisterous day yesterday. Of course, it came on a night that Brian was doing his own thing and I was going to be chilling with her and putting her to bed.

She was RAVENOUS when we got home from our day's activities, and I ended up sitting her down and feeding her dinner in bits as it was cooked. She ate very well. Then there was ice cream sundays. SUGAR! Just what the weasel baby needed? ;)

We had a fun time playing though, and she is participating more and more with regular house things like loading the dishwasher. She likes to sweep the floor (she has her own kid-sized broom and dustpan and brush) and wiping things with a towel.

Once her closet is all done we'll be making her a DIY learning tower http://www.ikeahackers.net/2013/03/lucys-learning-tower.html so she can more effectively work with us in the kitchen. I'm very excited about this! Purchasing one made commercially is around $200 and most DIY plans are quite complicated. When she is done with this we'll take the top bits off and be left with a nice step stool. It will live in the corner of our kitchen near our basement door.

Ballet class tonight! I'm excited to get back into the swing of things. I'm still on the fence about GraniteCon on Sunday. On the one hand it would be nice to see family in the area, on the other hand it may be nice to take a more chill day at home. We shall see.

Mina has decided she wants to be Batman for Halloween. It is a commercially purchased costume, but she picked it out herself all excitedly and it is OMFG so cute. Maybe I can throw together some kind of fun Batgirl thing quickly, low tech. Halloween is a Thursday, oh what to do this year with her?

Poor Mina had a tough start of the night yesterday. He was just odd in the bath, and not interested in coloring with her tub crayons which have been OH MY GOD THE BEST THING EVAH since we gave them to her. She fought me to get a diaper on and start to get into her PJs after her bath, so I just let her run around shirtless for a while. She was so freaking worked up, like a building anxiety attack with the start of hyperventolating and all of that. Maybe normal toddler stuff? Maybe she may be more likely to suffer from this kind of stress reaction since her Mom did (worst of it in high school, though it never required medication). Poor muffin.

I was able to calm her down, and cheer her up by putting her PJ shirt on her toy rabbit, then taking it off and letting her put it on herself (with some help). Then we picked out another shirt of hers to put on her bunny. She thought it was hilarious.

The rest of the bedtime routine was nice, but still odd. She was exhausted but just kept fighting, fighting to sleep. She clearly needed some time/love from Mom, so I spent an extra half hour in there. She woke up crazy/confused/sad/needy around 1 AM and we brought her into our bed, where after some time to get her settled, she spent the rest of the night.

She has actually been doing quite well at night! No more overnight bottles! We've moved to only 6 oz of milk before bed. A couple of nights ago we gave her a cup instead of the baby bottle, and she took to it. 2 nights in a row now, she'd drunk the cup of milk. We brush her teeth, read some books, sing some songs/dance/rock, and put her in bed. We sit and hold her hand a bit and rub her back or belly and continue to sing/talk. When the time seems right, we tell her we love her, goodnight, and we walk out. She will scream for less than a minute most nights, but then she settles into bed to sleep. She has been sleeping through the whole night, and waking up around 5 or 6 am. If she wakes up super early we try and settle her back to sleep snuggling with us in our bed, and we'll usually get another hour out of her.

Something is definitely going on. Maybe it is back to school transition? Her routine is the same, but we had that break over vacation, and there have been changes around her in school (new paint, new supplies, the vibe of a new school year). Growth spurt? Coming down with another cold?

Her rash seems to be getting better. Still there, but not as enflamed.

She starts swimming lessons with me on Monday: 8 weeks at the Woburn YMCA. Their schedule just worked out better than the one in Waltham, and hopefully we will see G and I there too.

She starts Saturday dance class on the 21st. Just crazy!

Now that the cooler weather is here we are going to be focusing on some more indoor home projects. Brian has wanted to rip out a built-in bureau in his collectible's room closet for a while, and I have wanted to patch/repair/build out Mina's large closet.

Over last week Brian and I were kind of brainstorming these projects. Before I was even pregnant I told Brian that I wanted to build a nice little play/reading nook in Mina's closet given how deep it was. We have been storing a lot of things in there since she is so young and not really using it, but someday she will be able to open that door herself. And it will be hers, and not our spot for storing crap that has no other good home.

We were talking about how specifically to create this nook for her. I thought maybe putting up a small wall in the back would give her a little cave-like spot to pile pillows, blankets and such and to 'hide' from us, with storage in front and a pole to hang above. I'm not sure how it came about, but it clicked that the two closets were back to back. Brian hasn't used his closet much at all, and wanted to rip out/reconfigure it to make better use out of it. We would break through the wall to make Mina a secret room! On Brians side you would open the door to see a box on the lower part, and a closet pole/shelves on the upper part. On Mina's side you would see a closet with a big open doorway/babycave, which would be the inside of that box in Brian's closet.

Now that we've conceived of this plan, we are so excited about it! On Sunday Brian ripped out the built in bureau. We will repurpose the (apparently copper) drawer pulls elsewhere in our house. Yesterday he cut the hole between the two closets and put the interior frame in. For ease, it will have paneling for walls, but clever Brian bought white-board paneling, so Mina's whole baby-cave walls will be whiteboard material. We'll put some kind of cushy padding/carpet on the floors.

Working in here while it is in her bedroom should be interesting. We need to take things out and try and keep her room clean, and keep the work to small chunks that don't interfere with her napping or sleeping at night. It may take a while to get it done because of this, unless we take some more time off of work while she's at daycare.

Once the frame/trim is all up, there will be plastering and painting to take place. Then putting in a closet pole/shelving above. Then figuring out what kind of storage/organization will go in front on the side wall.

Pictures are in this set which shows the progression of her room in general:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dancerjodi/sets/72157627994323257/

I love creating little spaces in our home that are all hers. The last of this type was her mini-kitchen inside of our kitchen:
http://www.theshare-space.com/Spaces/dancerjodi

Given that we were cleaning/organizing/planning, we finally hung up some more prints that she's acquired over time on an apparently growing wall of art, too:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dancerjodi/9661997141/in/set-72157627994323257