dancerjodi

I read this book around the time it was released http://www.patriotledger.com/topstories/x1925498954/MOVIE-REVIEW-Perks-of-Being-a-Wallflower-a-well-told-tale-of-teenage-angst . There was a lot of controversy at the time locally, as nearby Newton added it to its summer reading list for teens. A curious parent read the book before her child did, and started a campaign to have it banned. It was a more modern-day Catcher in the Rye, set to a fantastic soundtrack.

I was so excited to hear that it was being turned into a movie. Sounds from this review like they did it justice. Our movies mostly happen via Netflix or Hulu nowadays, but I'll surely need to add this to the list.

What is it about coming of age shows and movies? They always get me in the gut. It is why That 70's Show is one of my favorite TV series. It was such an influential time, even to this day. If only I appreciated it at the time for being that (though I guess, life would be quite different if I had).

The Maiden/Alice Cooper show was a lot of fun, but staying up for it was so difficult! These days, 10PM is a late night for us with Mina getting up through the night and being awake for the day at 6:00 AM. We paid for VIP parking to get out of there early and with a show ending at 11:00 in Mansfield we were in the car, out and home in an hour. Katie was so gracious to sit for us, and thankfully Miss Mina treated her well. We took the next day off to recuperate thank goodness. Mina went to daycare and we bummed around/got things done (I had to be home every 3 hours or so to pump).

Later that week I had my cards read by a friend of a coworker. It was a neat experience, and definitely hit on a lot of things going on for me right now. Most interesting was that she said that Mina was a gem and would be a super easy/pleasant kid, and would be very empathetic in her life. But, she said that something in her room wasn't letting her sleep well. She told me that we should sprinkle some sea salt in the corners in particular, and ask the bad stuff to go and the good stuff to stay (she particularly wanted us to do that - she said there was a lot in the room but not all of it was negative). She said that Mina wants to sleep well, but something in the room won't let her. I talked about it a bit with my bestie (a practicing Pagan who has done some house blessings for others) and on Friday night (my birthday too), Brian and her hubby took Mina out for a walk while she and I went to work in Mina's room. She has a good sense for energies in places, and had some interesting things to say about the space. She had been in there to help us paint a month before Mina was born, and hadn't sensed anything back then, but now, she said there was a lot going on - the room was stuffy and she wouldn't have been able to be restful in there herself. There were some happy/dancing/laughing "spirits" - kind of like fairies running around. But over them, there was this fierce/protective/domineering/controlling kind of spirit. We did a little ritual in there to try and cleanse the 'angry/forceful' going on, and asked only the gentle, creative, nurturing to stay (whatever was for the highest and best for the family). Mina slept like a log that night. But not so great the night after. And then on Sunday night oh boy!

She's super drooly, still no teeth yet but the girl is a saliva machine. She woke up choking on it, and went into a hysterical crying/screaming fit. Oh my god, I've never been more nervous or moved so fast. Brian ran in and grabbed her and she wouldn't settle. I held her and still the same - just frantic crying/screaming. I took her into bed and gave her a boob, and she started to calm down. She was so worked up that she was hyperventolating. It took her a couple of hours to settle, and then she woke up every hour or so after that (and was basically on my boobs all night).

Which brings me to my recent more serious debate about weaning. She has a very tough time eating in the summer heat. She's miserable. She's so squirmy/awkward/distracted. There is that, and the fact that I've gone out a couple of nights and been away from her, to have huge/sore boobs and then had to pump in the middle of the night before going to bed. And then we'll be away from her in August for Star Wars Celebration for 4 days, which if I'm still breastfeeding would require going back to my hotel room every few hours to pump. Not sure how I'd handle doing it around the airport (3 hour flight, need to get to the airport a couple of hours early). Ouch. She will be starting food soon and so will get less milk in the day anyway. She gets bottles at daycare. So I decided to finally, officially, for real start the weaning process. I'll drop 1 feeding in the middle of the day and go that way for a week. Then drop another for another week. Then another. I pump 3x during the work day, and could stop there. I could continue to breastfeed outside of work and at least reduce the pumping or feeding times. Or I could keep going. At least, it is not all or nothing. Since Saturday I've skipped her mid-day feeding (and today skipped the pumping).

I'm sad (cried last night) but also feeling lighter. I'm sad I'm "giving up" at 6 months and also amazed that I've made it this far. And I keep telling myself, I can still do it at night/early morning if I want.

I had to skip Saturday's feeding because I had found a lump in my breast, which showed up more if it was full of milk. I had to go in for an exam with my midwife that day. She suggested I have an ultrasound which was this morning. Everything is fine - it is just a full milk duct. But since I had dropped one on Saturday, I dropped one on Sunday (I gave her the bottle at that time so that I could get some snuggling in - she was so much calmer than on the breast, we were outside in the heat). Yesterday I was with a friend at this time and it was so, so hard (and I almost gave in and breastfed her), but I did it. I was proud of myself and felt kind of liberated but then I was sad and guilty in the afternoon. I tried to feed her before bed but she was so cranky/hot/distracted that she would only eat for 5 minutes. So Brian gave her formula, and after she was in bed and our guests had left I pumped (poorly). After all of this time using a hospital-grade pump while at work, my letdown still sucks. I had to pump this morning before the ultrasound when I'd normally be pumping at work, and came into work and skipped the mid-day pumping.

Such weird feelings that I was not expecting to feel. I love breastfeeding her and I hate it. I know that it is healthier but then she has such a hard time with it sometimes, I wonder if my emotions have been forcing this on her when she'd be much more relaxed with a bottle. Sometimes. Sometimes it is just a joy.

So yeah, there you go. Lots going on!

Saturday we'll be away from her overnight for the first time to go to the last showing of RHPS at midnight in Harvard Square. We had a hard time at the Maiden show, so this should be interesting! She'll be sleeping at my sister's house, where she'll spend those 4 nights in August. So weird.

Brian alerted me to this http://foxshop.seenon.com/gleek-sneak-3d-movie-tickets-framingham-16-framingham-ma/detail.php?p=305622&v=fox_shows_glee_3d-movie-tickets&pagemax=all

I just picked up two tickets for us. He e-mails: "You know I love you, right?!". Heh!

GET THAT L UP IN THE AIR BITCHES!

It really is silly how excited I am about this. :)

http://blogs.laweekly.com/westcoastsound/2011/04/wax_trax_retrospectacle_annive.php

I had heard about MLWTTKK playing at some point soon in the Boston area, but my guess is that I probably missed it? Nothing about it on their website.

The theme of yesterday was "What would Henry Rollins do".

Months ago I heard he was performing at the Brattle on the evening of the Boston St. Patrick's parade. We do this troop most years, though it is unsettling in my mind. It is freezing many years, long, and has a discriminatory history. The crowd loves us though, and the organization running the parade makes a large donation to charity in our name as a thank you for us coming. It is also neat that some gay members of our group have the opportunity to march despite the parade committee's history.

I had forgotten about this http://www.wbur.org/2011/03/21/st-paddys-parades . I wonder how large the parade was, and given how rowdy this crowd can be, I applaud their strength for getting out there.

But back to Hanry Rollins: St. Patrick's parade weekend is a long one for us. We're often getting things together for it on Friday, go out on Saturday night to meet up with the troops since a lot of people come from out of town for this, then we're in Boston in the Gillette parking lot bright and early, start walking some time after 1:00 PM, and the route is over 4 miles with lots of hills. It's often cold. You never know how things will go with folks along the route - running out, potentially assaulting us, unsure of what the police presence will be along the route. This has gotten better over the years (though, there is no control over the cold or long, challenging route in armor).

When I found out that Henry was coming to town this same night I e-mailed Brian to see if he wanted to go to the show after the St. Patrick's crazy and he suggested we should - what would Henry do?! We dropped our things at home and had some pizza with friends before heading out to Harvard Square for the show.

Henry is always inspiring, and I could listen to him for days. We try and see him each year when he comes to the city, because it is always the kick in the butt we need to keep moving along in life, making the most of our space here. I wondered if he would go to the parade being that it is the 2nd largest in the country, a good opportunity to just 'talk with the people' (something he likes doing when he travels) and he'd be in the city anyway. But given the discriminatory history and alcoholic nature of the thing (he being a straighted edge guy), would he go? It reminded me of his sketch about if he was president and the parade he'd stage in NYC to counteract the KKK (I won't even describe it here, because I won't do it justice).

Anyway, it was a great show, and despite our tired heads and bodies, I'm so glad that we went. Onward and upward!

We are seeing him (spoken word) after the Southie Parade. I can't wait

On underground music and its resurgence:
http://blogs.laweekly.com/westcoastsound/2011/03/henry_rollins_column_16.php

I do like iTunes though, despite what he says. More and more indie folks are showing up there (or using other sites to offer music for download). Much easier than finding tapes at a show (at least for me, when I get up for work so early I can't hit the shows like I used to).

This article touched me so http://www.soulemama.com/soulemama/2010/11/soulepapa-blogs-spinning-stories.html. I remember that Gram had one of these in the house in the living room. The only record I remember out of the huge stack that lived in that tall cabinet in the front hallway was Connie Francis. I also remember listing to records in Nana's basement: Sing Along With Mitch [Christmas]. And I think of dancing in the living room of my own house with my sister to some of Mom's records (Donna Summer, Barry Manilow and Michael Jackson being the most prevalent).

At one point I had a turntable of my own (when it was cool to call them turntables and not cool to call them record players). I spent time in Second Comings and In Your Ear collecting old new wave and punk vinyl and picking up 7" at local hardcore shows. Most of all I loved two: the bright blue 78 speed Bauhaus Bela Lugosi's Dead single and a glow in the dark Siouxsie (Rapture) album. It came out at Newbury Comics a month before it dropped to CD. I remember when I could find things on vinyl for much cheaper, and would hit up the used milk crates at Waltham Record Shop on Moody. I found a heavy metal compilation there that introduced me to some classics (more NWOBHM and Classic Rock than anything). I found a random benefit LP for the Aids Action Committee, Red Hot and Blue, all covers of Cole Porter songs.

At some point I scaled down, got practical, didn't listen anymore and lost the vinyl. I gave the turntable and the records away but I can't even remember to whom. I don't really miss them now at all, until I see one of those old console record players.

I got a haircut yesterday at my cousin's house, and as usual we caught up on the family news. She told me of a friend of hers who is apparently a medium, and who told her things about Gram. All of these things are kind of obvious old Italian lady things: short, floral dresses, wearing lots of aprons, storing things in a bible. She mentioned something additional that my cousin thought could perhaps pertain to me. I've been thinking about something for a very long time, getting frustrated that it hasn't come to fruition. Well according to my cousin, according to this medium, according to Gram I just need to be patient.

Either way, believing in medium's or this person's power or not, it was a nice story.

Gram, I think of you every day.

I just bought Tori Amos' new album, made up of various holiday selections both originals and covers (and so far, I am really loving it). From iTunes it comes with 3 extra songs and a 1/2 hour long interview on how the album came about, origins of popular Christmas songs, and her religious views given her past as a minister's daughter and after lots of research into other religious cultures. Very neat.

A very yummy, totally homecooked dinner.
Laughing with Brian about "Would you like to date my avatar" being stuck in our heads all night.
Spooky Halloweenie t-shirts from Target (check the pajama section).
True Blood (all caught up now, wow).
Catching up with an old THP colleague (now at PCHI) while he restored my ODBC connection on the new computer.
Seeing Allegria tomorrow night, finally.

I am going to finish sewing my placemats tonight. I am also going to get dolled up and take my ISO http://imperialserviceorganization.com/ photo. I figure, if I tell you people, I won't wimp out on it. Crazy hair be damned! I'm creative and I'll figure something out. :)