Nails, Easter, Toddlers

[dancerjodi]

This week has had its challenges, but it was better than last. I am looking forward to our pizza at home Friday night ritual, and hoping Brian and I can (gasp) watch a movie or catch up with some DVR tonight. Mina has been getting to bed later and is teething again, so we haven't had a lot of time to ourselves before retiring upstairs for the night.

I'm going for a mani-pedi tomorrow with my Mom, sister and law and good friend K. I'm not sure how it came about, but K was talking with my Mom on Xmas Eve and the two of them made plans to go and get nails done around this time at Mom's regular place in NH. The last time I did this was with the same crew minus K, and I was still nursing Mina (maybe she was 5-6 months old). Spring has indeed sprung!

My brother and his wife are hosting Easter dinner, so at some point this weekend I'll assemble a salad and cook some sweet potatoes to contribute. Brian and I have had fun collecting things for Mina's first Easter basket. We're trying to stick to durable/natural/fun/educational things for her. I figure, we are setting the standard of "normal" now, and if we don't want to get into the tradition of lots of crappy, high-fructose corn syrup food, it is up to us to make that happen. I found a nice basket in shades of green and white in our attic and we've collected durable/natural toys and art supplies that we think she'll like. Skipping the grass, what is the point? We got 6 wooden eggs and I saved a 1/2 dozen egg container to put them in, for her to use in her play kitchen. She loves balloons, so that seems to be something we'll continue. Mylar is safe, and we keep an eye on the tie so that she doesn't strangle herself with it. We had one for her birthday, ordered with a fruit basket I bought for her party. Brian picked out a huge one for Valentine's Day at the party store near his office. Today he'll pick out one there for Easter.



Easter raises all sorts of issues around religious education and her, and our family. I was raised Catholic and it was quite a thing for us: mass every week, Catholic school for 5 years, made all of the sacraments. Brian and I were even married in the church. I believe in some basic pieces of the faith but also don't think that it is the only "right" thing out there. I think that all religions seem to have something right, and that we're all just putting different labels or flavors on the same 'stuff'. God is god is goddess and that kind of thing. The UUs would be a good fit for me in this respect. Brian was raised with no religion, and didn't see the experience/benefit/whatever of being a part of a religious community (if anything, he has negative associations with it). I think the UUs would be good because Mina would learn about all sorts of things and would be better prepared to make her own decisions when she is older, plus the whole community support thing. Spending our Sunday mornings there though, is another issue altogether. Also, bringing a toddler there intimidates me. Is there really ever a good time though? Any experiences/advice from your own experiences with this? Not too long from now we will need to figure out how to explain these religious but also secular (to us) holidays, our celebrating them and all of that.

And then there is the whole Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy/Santa Claus thing. Oh boy. I want her childhood to be a magical one, but also don't want to be a big liar and create a huge farse that is difficult to maintain. The pressure of creating your kid's normal is awesome in its true meaning.

She is firmly in the Toddler room at school now. Brian and I have our own transition of sorts to deal with: packing her bags differently, giving her breakfast at home, not needing to tell them when she woke, when her last diaper was, when her last milk was. Just crazy. Brian picked out a lunch box for her this week. She is napping wonderfully there! At least 2 hours every day on a mat on the floor with the other big kids. Our theory is that the noise is more consistent . . . there aren't any babies waking and screaming at all hours like in the infant room. Her nap time is getting later in the day - not yet at the Toddler room schedule, but it is moving in that direction. It is rare that she is tired in the afternoon and needs a second nap (though, long car rides and all bets are off). I am so happy we have chosen this facility. She is thriving there and they really do feel like a part of our extended family. Just amazing! I was looking through old paperwork from last year to read up on the policies related to the toddler room last night. With the packet were all of the papers that we filled out to enroll her almost a year ago! She spent 4/1 there as a trial-run day. It was a Friday, and Brian and I spent the day together. We dropped her off and then went to In a Pickle for breakfast. Then back home so I could pump. Then we ran some errands, got my car detailed and were back home so I could pump. We tinkered around the house a bit doing our own thing, and I pumped. And then we picked her up around 4:00. It had been the longest separation from her, and it was so hard. But so amazing too. Now, she spends 4 full days a week there while we are at work, around 8.5 hours a day. It is hard, but also seems to be working well for all of us. She loves the kids and teachers, we love our careers and our grown-up time.



Wishing you all a wonderful weekend!

Comments

[thenetimp.livejournal.com]

Regarding the religion aspect. My sister did not introduce her children to religion. It wasn't until they started asking questions. The ones we all ask that they were introduced to a church environment. I wouldn't sweat it now wait until she's ready to ask the questions and then give her a path to find her answers.

[fairoriana.livejournal.com]

As a regular church goer with young kids, I thought I'd chime in. The right church for you will be a place where Sunday mornings with the kids at church is awesome/fun. My church, for example, has education for the kids from infants up through adulthood. We also have lots of kids (including experience with autistic/downs kids) and so are completely unphased by kid behavior in the service. (And hey, not to plug, but we're practically right up the street from you! http://burlingtonpres.org/) We also have snacks afterwards, which the kids love.

Churches with fewer kids might have higher expectations for being quiet, and you might not feel as comfortable. That just means the particular church is not a good fit.

[alonewiththemoon]

My brother and I grew up without any religious practice whatsoever, but we had no trouble accepting that there were special holidays during the year where we get presents or candy--we didn't see them as that different from birthdays, really. Of course we knew the whole story of Christmas, it's unavoidable in this culture, but it didn't seem that relevant to what we did at home. We had a nativity set even, but it meant more as family heirloom/a chance to play with toy camels and sheep and angels. Somehow we understood that the story was the inspiration for the holiday, but didn't find the story of the Nativity of any more importance than Santa himself. Anyway, my point being that kids can navigate these things, especially where there's presents or chocolate involved. And they also get over the revelation that Santa and the Easter bunny are really their parents, as long as the presents and chocolate keep on coming ;-)

I will say that growing up without any religion did have something of an alienating effect for me from my general peers. I don't think any of them held it against me in any way, but it was more in moments like saying the Pledge of Allegiance in the morning and not feeling like I could say the "under God" part because I knew I didn't believe it and thus I would be lying if I said it, while all my classmates muttered along as usual. But, that's part of what made me who I am, so I don't think I would change that. Just something to be aware of, though.

[omly.livejournal.com]

We went through a similar conversation. In the end we went with a UU religious education. I think it is important that children are getting moral messages from someone other than their parents, because when they inevitably need to rebel I wanted these concepts to be more established as what people do, rather than just something mom says and does. They are usually super relaxed about kid exuberance, which was important for my experience. The services are often worked around making them kid friendly, often with the kids going off to do an activity in another space for a more traditional sermon part, where kids might get antsy. As the kids get older (and for adults) there is also a strong social justice component that I liked.