Consumerism
Nov. 12th, 2002 09:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dancerjodiIt was very hard for me, but I spent some money today.
I don't like to buy unnecessary things that cost more than $20 (and even those <$20 items don't happen often). Growing up in a family that struggled financially for most of my life (except for a brief period where I was too young to know that they had lots of money, anyway) I learned to make due with what I had, and to assess what true needs versus unnecessary wants really were. B gets so upset with me because I keep and use things way past their prime (like the LL Bean Rag Socks that he made me throw away last year because the whole heel was ripped and my entire foot would slip out if I wasn't careful).
Hence, I don't have an extensive wardrobe for work. I have this issue periodically when I drop food on something staining it causing it to be unacceptable for the office. Or I cheap out and buy pants at Target which I wear once before they shrink making me look like I'm waiting for a flood. My family doesn't really spend money on *nice* things that often, so I can't fathom how people bring themselves to spend so much money on designer clothes . . .
So I went out today and spent money, more than I usually do on clothing for myself. I bought 2 new pairs of shoes, 2 new belts to match, lots of socks, tights and stockings, a blazer, 2 suits and some shirts to throw on under said blazer/suits or sweaters that I have. MAN did I feel really uncomfortable at first, I took my normal routine of going in 'the cheap store' and seeing things that would be acceptable though I didn't really *like* them. From there I almost left and headed to The Garment District, accepting the fate of having unstylish and frumpy clothing for work for the rest of my life.
But I gave it a chance. I told myself I'd walk through the whole mall and just go in places that may look interesting, no matter what the price. I poked in Illuminations at their lovely glittery candles (must get some for my winter decorations for the house) and in a couple of smaller stores before making it to http://www.jonesnewyork.com/ . I've always had good luck finding things that fit there (I have an issue finding pants that fit right, having long legs and large hips that aren't proportional to a smaller waist) and things seem to keep well. And I did it. I spent around $140 in there but I walked out with a lot of stuff.
From there I went to Target and bought said shirts (just plain ole cotton), socks, tights and pantyhose and a new pair of black work shoes and then to Payless to get a pair of brown work shoes.
I feel SO decadent. But I needed at least 2 suits for work, I really did need more work clothes (a lot of what I have won't be acceptable at the meetings with doctors). But I have a job now, I just got a raise, and I'll be banking around $7K of money from remaining severance and unused vacation time. So I shouldn't feel guilty (repeating to myself "don't feel guilty, don't feel guilty"). Its just very difficult to get me to spend money.
****
After heading home to do some homework, spend time with all 4 buns and the cat (of course) and lounge in front of the TV, I ate a quick dinner and made one last purchase. I needed to pick up something at Walgreens anyway, so from there I headed out to get the new Fellowship of the Ring DVD and of course, Star Wars Episode II. Those mainly were for my honey, I like to give him neat things that make him smile (I don't feel so guilty about those purchases) :)
****
OK, so can you tell that I need to talk to someone? This being at home or running errands all day is getting to me. MUST HAVE COMMUNICATION! Hee hee, sorry for rambling :)
I don't like to buy unnecessary things that cost more than $20 (and even those <$20 items don't happen often). Growing up in a family that struggled financially for most of my life (except for a brief period where I was too young to know that they had lots of money, anyway) I learned to make due with what I had, and to assess what true needs versus unnecessary wants really were. B gets so upset with me because I keep and use things way past their prime (like the LL Bean Rag Socks that he made me throw away last year because the whole heel was ripped and my entire foot would slip out if I wasn't careful).
Hence, I don't have an extensive wardrobe for work. I have this issue periodically when I drop food on something staining it causing it to be unacceptable for the office. Or I cheap out and buy pants at Target which I wear once before they shrink making me look like I'm waiting for a flood. My family doesn't really spend money on *nice* things that often, so I can't fathom how people bring themselves to spend so much money on designer clothes . . .
So I went out today and spent money, more than I usually do on clothing for myself. I bought 2 new pairs of shoes, 2 new belts to match, lots of socks, tights and stockings, a blazer, 2 suits and some shirts to throw on under said blazer/suits or sweaters that I have. MAN did I feel really uncomfortable at first, I took my normal routine of going in 'the cheap store' and seeing things that would be acceptable though I didn't really *like* them. From there I almost left and headed to The Garment District, accepting the fate of having unstylish and frumpy clothing for work for the rest of my life.
But I gave it a chance. I told myself I'd walk through the whole mall and just go in places that may look interesting, no matter what the price. I poked in Illuminations at their lovely glittery candles (must get some for my winter decorations for the house) and in a couple of smaller stores before making it to http://www.jonesnewyork.com/ . I've always had good luck finding things that fit there (I have an issue finding pants that fit right, having long legs and large hips that aren't proportional to a smaller waist) and things seem to keep well. And I did it. I spent around $140 in there but I walked out with a lot of stuff.
From there I went to Target and bought said shirts (just plain ole cotton), socks, tights and pantyhose and a new pair of black work shoes and then to Payless to get a pair of brown work shoes.
I feel SO decadent. But I needed at least 2 suits for work, I really did need more work clothes (a lot of what I have won't be acceptable at the meetings with doctors). But I have a job now, I just got a raise, and I'll be banking around $7K of money from remaining severance and unused vacation time. So I shouldn't feel guilty (repeating to myself "don't feel guilty, don't feel guilty"). Its just very difficult to get me to spend money.
****
After heading home to do some homework, spend time with all 4 buns and the cat (of course) and lounge in front of the TV, I ate a quick dinner and made one last purchase. I needed to pick up something at Walgreens anyway, so from there I headed out to get the new Fellowship of the Ring DVD and of course, Star Wars Episode II. Those mainly were for my honey, I like to give him neat things that make him smile (I don't feel so guilty about those purchases) :)
****
OK, so can you tell that I need to talk to someone? This being at home or running errands all day is getting to me. MUST HAVE COMMUNICATION! Hee hee, sorry for rambling :)
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no subject
Date: 2002-11-12 07:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-11-12 07:25 pm (UTC)I can easily spend several hundred dollars on clothes, if someone let me, and have in the past. I hate buying work clothes, and spend most of my money on "play" clothes. but I still stick to TJ MAxx most of the time. My naughty little secret is Burlington Coat Factory, where I found some awesome things on sale.
I think you did great, you got a lot of clothes, you did it on a budget, and you didn't go overboard. I'm thinking of my normal friend who got married in October, and she's super cheap about some things, but thinks nothing of going into Macy's or Filene's and spending 3 or 4 times as much on the things you got.
Now if only the gothy clothes would come down in price, stupid teffeta and silk not being cheap *kicks rock* I wish I had a sugar daddy who would let me loose in Torrid with their gold card.
I was hoping I could spend some quality time with you and B before I leave, I'm feeling kinda "I'm not coming back" even though I know that's total crap. besides, i want to see the additional scenes on LOTR without buying the DVD, just yet *evil grin*
no subject
Date: 2002-11-12 08:19 pm (UTC)When I cared more about how I looked at work (and I will again when I start pushing for management again) I looked at building a solid wardrobe as investing for the future. In a way, the better you look, combined with solid work, do make it easier to get that promotion.
Plus, when travelling and asking for that upgrade to first class, the better dressed get it.
And woot for the fellowship of the rings dvd. I went right out and got that. Plus the bookends that came with one of the packages
no subject
Date: 2002-11-12 09:15 pm (UTC)You may also want to check out Nordstrom's and/or Lord & Taylor. They both have awesome staff, and Sales on *good* clothing.
One other thing I've learned, in addition to the "buy quality, not quantity"; is that Alterations ARE worth it. Buy simple, clean lines that arent faddish, one piece at a time. and if all it comes down to is "I wish this were a smidge shorter..." I had a whole suit jacket taken in because it was a Jones NY suit from $300, that I paid _$65_ for, I'd have been crazy to pass it up, just b/c the jacket was a bit big.
And i can even recommend someone if you needed it! heh.
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2002-11-13 04:38 am (UTC)one of the things i've delighted in as a grown-up with an independent income is the freedom to figure out what small indulgences will really improve my quality of life (like my cup-top tea strainer. i drink tea constantly and that thing rocks at keeping tea leaves out of my teeth). and some things that i would have been raised to think are indulgences are really preventitive maintenance, like making sure that i don't wear shoes with soles worn down enough that my back aches all the time (i have scoliosis, and one result is that my shoes wear unevenly and end up twisting my hips even more askew, which makes me pull muscles in my back.)
Clothes
Date: 2002-11-13 05:22 am (UTC)Yeah, they rock my corp-goth world. Their regular prices are good, but they also have a lot on sale which is how I ended up walking out of there so cheaply.
Clothes
Date: 2002-11-13 05:26 am (UTC)I love Burlington Coat Factory, but I've had hit-or-miss luck there (just like TJ Maxx or other places like that). I don't really like shopping for clothes so I usually go by the "run in and grab something as fast as possible" route, hence why JNY worked out for me yesterday :)
"I think you did great, you got a lot of clothes, you did it on a budget, and you didn't go overboard."
One thing that not having money does is it helps you to find the bargins (oh wait, we're in Massachusetts here . . . the baaaaaahhhhhhhhhhgiins) :)
"Now if only the gothy clothes would come down in price, stupid teffeta and silk not being cheap *kicks rock* I wish I had a sugar daddy who would let me loose in Torrid with their gold card."
I end up not spending money on most of those gothy things since I know how much the fabric costs and know it wouldn't be too difficult to make. Most of the gothy clothes that I have are either really simple and were super cheap or they are too elaborate for me to make myself :)
"I was hoping I could spend some quality time with you and B before I leave, I'm feeling kinda "I'm not coming back" even though I know that's total crap. besides, i want to see the additional scenes on LOTR without buying the DVD, just yet *evil grin*"
Well you're leaving like, tomorrow, right? I'm at school tonight and off and on during the day Thursday, so I'm not sure if that will happen or not :/
Stuff
Date: 2002-11-13 05:29 am (UTC)I don't feel guilty, just - weird :) I understand that in business "clothes do make the woman" so I acknowledge that I need to have some decent suits for certain occaisions (most of the time though, so I'm told, the office is business casual). I'm used to business causual (hence why I don't have much in the way of traditional business clothing).
"Plus, when travelling and asking for that upgrade to first class, the better dressed get it. "
I usually try to stay away from the high class establishment because I don't feel like I really fit in there - YEAH, ITS ALL BECAUSE OF THE MAN I TELL YOU! Hee hee!
"And woot for the fellowship of the rings dvd. I went right out and got that. Plus the bookends that came with one of the packages"
I'm dying to see those, what are they made of?
Money stuff
Date: 2002-11-13 05:34 am (UTC)I guess its a matter of opinion (in general, in terms of what's uncomfortable). Some would argue that the fact that I had to share a room with my sister was uncomfortable or that we only had 1 car, or that we didn't go to DisneyWorld. We had a house, food and clothes and a loving family so I never really felt uncomfortable (when I was old enough to feel it, I was old enough to earn my own money to remedy it - when I started babysitting).
"one of the things i've delighted in as a grown-up with an independent income is the freedom to figure out what small indulgences will really improve my quality of life (like my cup-top tea strainer."
Yes, those are the things that make me really happy. When I graduated from college, got my first real job and was able to pay bills and STILL have money left over for "fun things" I felt like I had really made it. At the time I was making only $26K but thought that I was livin' large :)
"and some things that i would have been raised to think are indulgences are really preventitive maintenance, like making sure that i don't wear shoes with soles worn down enough that my back aches all the time"
See this just doesn't make sense to me - if you don't spend money up front on preventive measures you're going to need to spend WAY MORE later on on serious problems. The thing I'm happy for is that my parents found a way to make sure we had proper clothes, footwear, food and dental and medical care (in addition to keeping us active and doing things). I'm really amazed and don't know quite how they did it at the time given their limited resources.
Ah, scoliosis. My aunt had triple scoliosis (along with a whole host of other illnesses/conditions) so my Mom was always paranoid about it and had us checked each year at the pediatrician to make sure we were OK. And we had good shoes yes, but DAMN were they ugly and so uncool :)
no subject
Date: 2002-11-13 06:35 am (UTC)The thing is, I always hated the clothes that I wore. It wasn't so much that I wanted designer things as I wanted things that I actually liked.
So, now when I have the money to do so, I will spend $50 to get a pair of pants that I love, or $100 for a dress if it's really a good deal, or I really need a dress (like the time I found this dress that I loved which had been marked down from $300 - I've worn it enough to make it a good purchase). Shirts still tend to hover around $20 though, I couldn't imagine spending much more on one unless it was a very nice sweater.
Anyway, a good time to shop for work clothes (although this doesn't apply right now) is at the end of the season at a department store. Last Spring I got 3 blazers, 2 pants, 2 skirts and a silk shirt for about $200 at Macy's.
Oh yeah, congratulations on the new job. I hope you really enjoy it.
no subject
Date: 2002-11-13 06:38 am (UTC)recently i've been a lot better. in the past it was the thrill of the bargain. i'd see stuff on sale, and i'd just buy it and i ended up with some much stuff i never wore. now, i know to look for quality and really think about if i'll really wear it. i buy more expensive things, but they are things i love. it's easier now that i'm not so into clubbing so work and play clothes are almost the same thing. i have lace and silk and tafetta and velvet for going out, but i also like to wear work clothes that are not very corporate, just comfortable and a little bit quirky...not much, just more my style. it helps that i work in public tv and do graphic design...
but it sounds like you found great stuff at good prices! yay
Re: Stuff
Date: 2002-11-13 06:56 am (UTC)And you and b can fit in anywhere.
and speaking of anywhere, do you two like gumbo?
Re: Stuff
Date: 2002-11-13 07:54 am (UTC)Re: Stuff
Date: 2002-11-13 08:01 am (UTC)fit in and be comfortable are two completely different topics ;-)
Re: Stuff
Date: 2002-11-13 08:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-11-13 08:34 am (UTC)-L
Re: Stuff
Date: 2002-11-13 08:35 am (UTC)rethinks...
damn wish I said that
Re: Money stuff
Date: 2002-11-13 11:56 am (UTC)i think the maddest i ever got at them was when i was eleven and had just been told that i had to be in a body brace indefinitely for the scoliosis. the only pair of pants i had that fit over the brace was a pair of hideous pink sweatpants. I asked my parents if I could please have some new pants, and their response was that I could wear the pink sweatpants until i saw if anyone gave me any clothes for Christmas. Christmas was still about three months off, if I remember aright.
I don't think that they thought that they were being mean to me; they were just being practical.
no subject
Date: 2002-11-13 12:56 pm (UTC)Re: Stuff
Date: 2002-11-14 04:23 am (UTC)So gumbo is a place now? :)
Yes, we both like gumbo . . .
I feel so bad, I haven't cooked any wonderful meals for you - though my cooking skills pale in comparison :) I would LOVE to be able to spend more time doing it!