A year ago
Jun. 9th, 2004 12:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dancerjodiI was going to lots of shows, dancing like mad and getting ready for my first bellydance performance, and reminiscing: http://dancer.livejournal.com/2003/06/09/
Now I'm still a bit in awe that my Master's Paper is done and I only have 1 class left of grad school. We're prepping to move, sell our house and buy another. I went right from the numb "get my final papers done" phase into the "pack up the house and make tons of arrangements to move/sell/buy" phase.
Next week I won't be dancing in the performance - I'll be stage managing or something. It figures too, that they are doing a dance about women of the 1930's and 40's, since these are the time periods that the best dances I've done have been based on.
I know that bellydance isn't really for me in the long term, and that this semester was just too nuts for me to continue doing it with the thesis and all. My body is just craving movement in such a bad way. Damn life getting in the way of my art! I'm feeling that there's a huge chunk of ME on sabbatical right now or something. I'm scared it will whither away due to lack of use.
Next week will be very tough. I love the theater, but they always smell the same and have the same energy. They always feel like home to me but not home at the same time because I'm not back in that dressing room, fussing with a costume, looking in the mirror to see if my butt looks big, and putting on heavy blush. I'm so happy for my performing friends, and so excited to be even a teeny part of it. But its going to be very hard to be there thinking that I should have been dancing too.
What I'd give to be performing again! I'll get there . . . I always do. I'm not sure how, or when - but I'll "figure it out". In the meantime I'll just sit here and dream wistfully of the time I can again . . .
Now I'm still a bit in awe that my Master's Paper is done and I only have 1 class left of grad school. We're prepping to move, sell our house and buy another. I went right from the numb "get my final papers done" phase into the "pack up the house and make tons of arrangements to move/sell/buy" phase.
Next week I won't be dancing in the performance - I'll be stage managing or something. It figures too, that they are doing a dance about women of the 1930's and 40's, since these are the time periods that the best dances I've done have been based on.
I know that bellydance isn't really for me in the long term, and that this semester was just too nuts for me to continue doing it with the thesis and all. My body is just craving movement in such a bad way. Damn life getting in the way of my art! I'm feeling that there's a huge chunk of ME on sabbatical right now or something. I'm scared it will whither away due to lack of use.
Next week will be very tough. I love the theater, but they always smell the same and have the same energy. They always feel like home to me but not home at the same time because I'm not back in that dressing room, fussing with a costume, looking in the mirror to see if my butt looks big, and putting on heavy blush. I'm so happy for my performing friends, and so excited to be even a teeny part of it. But its going to be very hard to be there thinking that I should have been dancing too.
What I'd give to be performing again! I'll get there . . . I always do. I'm not sure how, or when - but I'll "figure it out". In the meantime I'll just sit here and dream wistfully of the time I can again . . .
