Eulogy for Demi Marmonti

[dancerjodi]

Written by John, edited by Lorraine, approved by Carol.
Read by Paul Ferrari

Thank you all for being here this morning to celebrate the life of our mother, Dominica Marmonti. To some Demi was a sister, aunt, grandmother, grammy, great grandmother, cousin or friend and to us she was our Mom and will be missed and always in our hearts.

In New Orleans they have a traditional procession when a loved one passes called a Jazz Funeral. They parade through the streets playing trumpets, trombones, and drums and celebrate their loved one passing over into heaven. It is not an ending but a beginning and they are joined with their loved ones for eternity. Today, be happy that Demi was given so much life and we got so much life from her. Today we celebrate the life of Mom & Dad.

She lived 91 and ½ years, enjoyed a full life and loved her family more than anything else. She was 12 when the great depression hit in 1929, horses and carts were commonplace on city streets and were slowly replaced by the automobile. She left school, as did some of her siblings to help raise the growing family. Meals were served in 2 shifts and they slept 2-3 to a bed.

The iceman delivered huge blocks of ice cut from the river to keep food cold in the icebox. Mom and Dad saw America grow and watched homes go from gas lamps to electricity, coal furnaces to oil. They sat around the radio for news and entertainment and soon the invention of the black & white television came into their home. In Dads later years Monday night was music night in the playroom: we blasted music from al over the world. He sat in his chair smoking a pipe, we would listen and talk. In discussing his childhood in Medford he said he remembered the day his house was “electrified”. I said, “Dad, I never knew that house caught fire?”. He said “noooooo, the wire was brought from the new street poles into the house, we finally got electricity and light bulbs for the first time”!

Mom and Dad met at the Waltham Watch Factory, fell in love and married in 1942. After living in Sandown, NH and Watertown, MA they settled into their home on Crafts Street in Waltham where they lived out their lives. Mom was the matriarch of the Scafidi family and the family was the pride of her life. Family weddings and parties were like scenes from The Godfather. From countless parties at Waverly Oaks Road Pavilion in the 60s and 70s to all the holiday events, Mom was the boss. If you questioned her authority you were promptly reminded to keep your mouth shut and respect your elders. Even at 91, some things just never changed.

Around 1946, Dad started a machine shop in the basement of Brown’s Ave and left his factory job forever. He grew his business and moved into a shop of his own. He loved his craft and supported the family his whole life in good times and some very tough times always keeping his love of family front and center as well as his dry humor.

Like his father before him, he carved out his life to his terms and did what he loved. He adored Mom and treated her like a Queen.

Like her mom and our Nana before her, Mom was an amazing cook and you never left the house without trying everything. My friends would ask, “What are you guys having for dinner”? I would reply “Oh, something like lasagna, meatballs, sausage, ziti, homemade meat sauce with mushrooms and onions, homemade bread, salad with anchovies, maybe pizelle cookies or canolis for dessert, you know, the usual”. My friends were likely having hot dogs and beans or meatloaf.

Growing up in the Marmonti house was never boring. It was common to come home after being out with friends to 40-50 Scafidis, a few LaCavas, Tarantos and half a dozen other Italian families, scratchy Italian records playing on the wall-sized Hi Fi and food everywhere. It took us 20 minutes to say goodnight to everyone, everyone got a kiss, hug and if you missed anyone, Mom would see to it that it was corrected.

Mom was the keeper of the books and the house and ran a tight ship; they were a great team. When Dad passed away a Senior Raytheon engineer who worked there for over 30 years said, “At this very moment there are components your dad made in every airport guidance tower in the US, and every space shuttle that has ever flown”. My Dad was often accused of having his head in the clouds and it seems that was true to some measure.

For the last 7-8 years, Carol took over the job of caring for Mom, bringing her to endless doctor’s appointments, shopping, cleaning house and taking care of Mom’s paperwork. Carol, Lorraine and I were as always a team I am proud of, and made Mom as comfortable as she could be. You may not know this but Mom was a teensy weensy tiny bit stubborn, and keeping her safe wasn’t always easy, but we managed. When changes and medical decisions were needed the Meadow Green staff would always comment, “I know, I know, you are all on the same page”. And we were.

The Catholic religion was a very important part of our lives because of Mom. Dad knew this and converted to make her happy.

He was never able to convert to becoming an Italian, but the family learned to live with it and promptly nicknamed him Geno, which he loved.

We learned much from their life example: they loved us all equally and through them we learned equality, honesty, integrity, hard work, and to never take anything for granted and to love our own family always.

In closing, a Hopi Indian prayer:
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sunlight on the ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn’s rain
When you awaken in the morning hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight
I am the soft starts that shine at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there, I did not die.

Mom and Dad . . . JOB WELL DONE!

Please give a round of applause loud enough for them to hear us in heaven!

Comments

[roaming.livejournal.com]

(sigh) what can I say except "God speed" and I am sorry for the grief your family is carrying.

I love that Hopi saying. I had forgotten it (it's buried in my fav sayings pile, which is so huge I can't navigate it). I hope you will not mind if I "borrow" it for another use: it's much more appropos than the other quote I found for my use. More comforting.

[synaesthesia.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing this wonderful eulogy with us!

[deadwinter.livejournal.com]

Please give a round of applause loud enough for them to hear us in heaven!

OMFG that is...damn. Tell John that not to be offended if I kiss him the next time I see him. That is so beautiful.

[christmasjedi.livejournal.com]

That is the most beautiful eulogy I have ever heard!