Mmmm

[dancerjodi]

Its been a nice weekend. We've been spending more time laying around the house in our pajamas and exploring the old hometown, taking pictures of things before they are torn down (or rather, until they won't be everyday sites for us anymore). I'm excited to be moving and to be making a new home for B and I - but I'm really going to miss it here too (heh, B keeps saying we'll probably be here more for shopping, visits, restaurants and the theater more than we did as residents). Once we're done with our photo adventures I'll post links and descriptions here.

We went to the http://www.teamtsuru.org/ benefit in Arlington last night and had a great time; B even won a plushie Ctulu in the raffle (which, was the main reason that he wanted to go). I danced harder than I have in a while - or rather, I haven't gone out dancing IN a while so I'm a bit creaky this morning from the shock to my body. Its just working different areas than are targeted in the gym. I really miss taking dance classes - I'm thinking (again) that once we move I may drop the gym membership since we own a weight machine and all and are planning on getting a treadmill. I'd rather take that money each month and take dance classes . . .

B and I discussed last night's event and the social dynamics of "the scene" that always creep up at non club nights (mostly parties and get-togethers like this one). I hate how such a small scene is so segmented and cliquey - it reminds me a bit of my high school where you had a lunch table in the cafeteria for each group: the headbanger boys, the headbanger girls, the punks, the cheerleaders, the jocks, the mexicans, the Puerto Ricans, the Asians, the Indians, the "nerds", etc. Its a reminder that we're really not as grown up as we THINK we all are. *Sigh*, what ever happened to just being social with PEOPLE? Its really not that different from how I felt in high school actually - I had many different interests and had friends in many different groups. I'm sad now as I was then that the groups don't overlap as much as they could; there would be many cool people that could meet each other and share ideas. I'm happy for the ones that don't care about those labels and limit themselves to their social circle identity . . .

As I grow older I find more comfort in friends and less in "the scene". Its a more quiet and much less exciting existence but it makes me more relaxed and happy. I'm looking forward to lots of small-scale entertaining once B and I move.

********

Oh yeah, and I did get a 4% raise. That's the most you can get at the company actually unless you're getting a promotion (though last year they made an acception and needed approval from the VP of our division to give me 10%). It was what I was expecting, the comments we made were what we were all expecting. And I'm looking forward to next year to grow further :)

Comments

[myscarredwrists.livejournal.com]

As I grow older I find more comfort in friends and less in "the scene". Its a more quiet and much less exciting existence but it makes me more relaxed and happy. I'm looking forward to lots of small-scale entertaining once B and I move.

I was saying this exact thing in my own post today. I am finding that I much prefer small gatherings lately, with more intimate group of actual friends. Does it mean we're getting older or just more in tune with our futures? Anyway, I find it to be very comforting right now :)

[lillydrag.livejournal.com]

I've remarked about that, the highschool like divisions within a scene or group. Being quite new to this particular "scene" it saddened me to see that same sort of dynamic. I wonder if it's just human nature, an extension of herd mentality, to split into subgroups. It's sad to think that there will always be this "us against them" philosophy.

[julishka.livejournal.com]

i wish i had more time to talk to folk last night. i felt like i spent a lot of time running back and forth between people. sorry i didn't get to chat more with you guys yesterday. congrats on B for winning the cthulu! that was perfect.

i was saddened that more people weren't there (yes a great amount were there, but still, it's such a good cause!!!). but as for your concerns, i think the best way to deal with it is to not worry about it. move beyond thinking about it and just spend time with those who you'd like to. i think the divisions are less divisions and more just the natural way people tend to end up with their friends. clique has such negative connotations and well, last night to me didn't feel cliquish or highschoolish at all. just lots of different groups of friends hanging out together having a really good time!

on other notes...your new home seems rather conveniently located in the same town as the fabric place! i feel the need for a fabric run!!! yay! :) (and am quite inspired by the changing rooms (the british original of trading spaces) marathon on bbcamerica this weekend)

[ballerino.livejournal.com]

You said what I've been thinking, and beautifully. I like living here for many reasons, and I like to talk to a wide variety of people when out and about, my friends are all-over-the-map varied, and it really is simple, but there are so many barriers, and cliques that refuse to overlap or look outside their boundaries in this scene. I've met some really great people I would never know if I hadn't disregarded those lines, and conversely there are people I will never know because of the divisions and boundaries.

I've found myself less interested in going out or starting conversations. To be able to just talk when out at a gathering beyond polite hellos, to enjoy and socialize without the silly territorial battles and drama or "right" and "wrong" people, both spoken and unspoken divisions ... I like to meet people on terms beyond what people think or whether they are "cool" or not, on their own terms and on mine, without the limits the groups try to impose.

Congratulations on the raise.

The scene

[dancer.livejournal.com]

"Does it mean we're getting older or just more in tune with our futures?"

I think people tend to look less towards "the group" and more towards their friends as they get older and more comfortable in who they are and what they want in life. I don't think age persay has much to do with it as maturity (i.e. I've met very mature 17 year olds and very immature 30 year olds).

[dancer.livejournal.com]

"but as for your concerns, i think the best way to deal with it is to not worry about it. move beyond thinking about it and just spend time with those who you'd like to."

I really don't get upset about it as much as observe it (I've seen some people get REALLY upset about it before). As I mentioned in the post, I hang out with a whole host of different people and have many different interests. I feel sad for people that don't allow themselves to do that due to invisible social barriers since they are missing out on so much (yeah, I'm a hippie, I know :) ). And I've actually had people say to me: "God, I can't believe that you are hanging out with *person*, they are one of those *group/list name* people".

"i think the divisions are less divisions and more just the natural way people tend to end up with their friends. clique has such negative connotations and well, last night to me didn't feel cliquish or highschoolish at all. just lots of different groups of friends hanging out together having a really good time!"

I think its all a matter of perception. For example, I don't think of myself as part of any group in our little 'scene' - I merely talk to and hang out with PEOPLE and happen to be on a couple of mailing lists. But, I've heard other's identify me as "you are a netgoth" or "you are one of the spies" and then they extrapolate information based on that criteria (the same thing happens with other people on other area groups/lists). Some people will merely associate and/or be good friends with indivudials in certain groups due to circumstance/coincidence - but others actually IDENTIFY themselves as being a part of the group and base their existance and social interactions on that definition.

Basically, its just something interesting to watch from the sidelines. I think its always been like this and always will be like this (in any subculture and region, not just goth/industrial in Boston). Unfortunately some people end up cheating themselves at times as a result of not being open to other people and/or experiences just because of the label associated with it.

Oh yeah!

[dancer.livejournal.com]

We're living WALKING distance from the Fabric Place, so once we're settled in you'll need to come over for tea/coffee or lunch and we can have fabric and sewing adventures :)

[bratling.livejournal.com]

...i think people still identify me as a netgoth, even though i've left it for saner pastures...

Re: Oh yeah!

[julishka.livejournal.com]

yay! i was watching marathons of those changing rooms/trading spaces shows all weekend and i've decided i should really move if only to have the chance to remake an apartment. hehe.

i'd love to stop by when you guys have settled in. that would be wonderful!

[deadwinter.livejournal.com]

Congrats on your raise!

One of the things that I am still coming to grips with is that a lot of people have histories that go back for a while, and while I am sure no one bears me any ill will, naturally there are places and/or events that I don't get invited to, conversations I am not privy to, etc. I do wish we could have a few less barriers and less of that "clique" BS that, frankly, should go no further than high school. For the record I feel blessed to know all of you, and privileged to participate in whatever comes my way.

[deadwinter.livejournal.com]

Well, "clique" has negative connotations because cliques are a bad thing, and sometimes the shoe fits. I have felt like that very often. One thing I should point out is that the Netgoth/Goffee crows is nowhere near as bad as my office, where people actually stop talking to you because they are hanging out with another crowd. It's like the social equivalent of the whole "let's just be friends" BS: you're interesting and smart, but do not fit in my socialite mold. I am amazed anyone above the age of 20 does that.

All of that being said, I think you and B are the bomb.