From Bratling's sister:

[dancerjodi]

IF THE THREE WISE MEN HAD BEEN WOMEN:

They would have asked directions,
Arrived on time,
Helped deliver the baby,
Cleaned the stable,
Made a casserole,
Brought practical gifts and
There would be Peace On Earth.

IF THE THREE WISE MEN HAD BEEN GAY:

They would have done a fabulous parade through the "Big B" in
floor-length auburn/gold sequined capes to match the "Star of
Bethlehem" lighting effects,

Arrived early,

Helped deliver the baby and dressed it in a gorgeous
buttercream-colored 100% Egyptian Cotton throw,

Cleaned the stable and redecorated it in a western theme
to match the animals,

Would NOT have made a casserole -- instead, a flawless entree
of Chilean sea bass dusted in cocoa powder, with Guatemalan
mangoes in a light chutney mix, mashed potatoes with a light
cream fennel sauce, Anjou pears with Grand Marnier meringue
swirls, topped off with perfectly ripened Brie and
caff/half caff Cappuccino con panna.

The practical gifts would have included several items from the
new Martha Stewart Living Collection.

Peace On Earth?? How can you have any peace when the entire night
screams for a drag number?