On holidays, stress, emotions, money

[dancerjodi]

I could not have said this any better: http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2009/12/22/spending-choices-and-deeper-psychology/

Why do we make ourselves crazy? For who? If we are all making ourselves crazy for the sake of each other, shouldn't it be easy to relax and just enjoy the season? For me, each year gets a bit better I think. :)

Comments

[nepenthedreams]

I don't know who drives these things. I would much prefer to exchange charitable donations, or even say that we'll save presents for the kids and close family members.

My family does this awful yankee swap. Normally they are fun, especially if the limit is low (like < 25$) and the idea is to have a funny gift. Instead, we have a limit of 50$. Of course, that's a lot of money but you have to find something that will have a broad appeal rather than a limited appeal, so you can get something that someone REALLY wants. Usually it ends up being an exchange of gift certificates, lottery tickets, and 50$ of chocolate. It feels like a huge waste of $$$ to me.

[dancer.livejournal.com]

I wonder if your family did a specific gift swap rather than yankee swap, it would be easier? Don't give gifts to every person, but each person picks a name from a hat and spends $50 on that particular person? Everyone would get something, but I'd bet you'd have more fun buying (and people would have more fun receiving).

[rubicat.livejournal.com]

Elfster.com specializes in this very thing. My friend Carolyn has done a swap for two years, and it works out well......

[nepenthedreams]

Thanks - I may check that out for other purposes (i.e. not my crazy family).

[nepenthedreams]

Now, we DID do that in the past and switched to just a yankee swap. Previously the yankee swap was the silly, fun and cheap variety and we had the name-draw. Then we'd exchange lists and buy eachother gifts.

What would happen is:
Certain members of our family without a lot of money but with very high aspirations and upscale taste would put something on their list that cost more than 50$ - say 60 or 75.

Same member, expecting a 75$ gift now, would see someone else's gift list and cheap out somehow. Example - buy a used version of what was on the list on eBAY...or in the case of the year where I said "fitness videos and workout clothes" - thinking they would buy 50$ worth - I got *one* workout video and a sports bra from Target (more like 20-25 max). So those of us who got cheaped out on - we felt it was unfair - not that the holiday is about fairness, but you felt put upon to buy a pricey gift and then you didn't even get something you wanted.

The whole affair over the years has really turned me off to Christmas present exchanging. It always feels like an "exchange", like you're trying to get people gifts of equal value, like you can't not give a gift if someone gives you one (some people buy extra random gifts just in case they get surprised!), and on and on. That's the part I hate about Christmas.

[dali-muse.livejournal.com]

I hate XMASS because I get yelled at a lot. Of course, it goes with the territory, but when people are stressed they generally take it out on other people, usually people in the service industry.

We get yelled at for going over in hours, but we get yelled at for not putting enough people on. Customers freak out because we run out of sizes, or their present isn't going to arrive in time for XMASS. Then there is more shoplifting because people get desperate and professional criminals take advantage of not enough staff on the floor to watch all the people.

Then my Mom gives me a hard time if I don't ship my presents to her two weeks before XMASS. This year it's harder to do that since I'm down a roommate. Not to mention that I have to work New Years Eve and New Year's Day and am not getting overtime for it.

I'll be happy in January when I get two weeks off.

[roaming.livejournal.com]

I always felt brainwashed by the expectations of the family and the society around me at Christmas. I resented that so much I came to hate this time of year. For a few years now -- actually since my mom died and I no longer am expected to travel to her best friend's house and family, where they go NUTZ over Xmas -- I've given myself permission to do as much or as little (or nothing! i.e., I have not yet managed to send e-card to even the people I WANT to send e-cards to. They know I love them even without an e-card).