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dancerjodiThey were discussing http://www.rcab.org/News/sexualAbuseStatement.html on the radio this morning. The question at hand, is the church trying to 'sweep things under the rug'. Though I only listened to the discussion on the short ride from my house to work (around 15-20 minutes) it brought back some clear memories.
I worked at the rectory at my childhood church (the one that I would eventually be confirmed and married at) answering phones and filling out mass cards for people (you could make a small donation and have a person's name mentioned specifically for prayer at a mass). I think it was one of the easiest jobs I've had in my life - sit and do homework at the kitchen table, watch TV, drink all the free soda that I wanted out of the refrigerator and answer the phone or door from time to time.
The rectory was a grand old white home (I'm guessing a couple hundred years old just like the church) with high ceilings, stained glass, comfortable furniture in multiple sitting rooms and even some hidden rooms and doorways that went to nowhere (save a 30 foot drop from the third floor down to the first in the front hallway). There was a feeling of comfort in the place, it being decorated in all deep greens and reds and surrounded by old religions statuary and paintings. It was quiet (only the sound of the TV in the kitchen could be heard) most times - every once in a while you'd hear the murmur of a priest talking to someone in the front of the house (be it a young couple planning a wedding, an old lonely woman seeking counseling or a homeless alcoholic seeking some money and a place to sleep for the night).
For such a large church we had only a handful of priests and a couple of deacons - its actually gotten worse now where there are only 2 full time priests and then others that visit to help out until they are needed more elsewhere. The priests were always very sweet but weird at the same time (kind of like my family, for those of you who have met any of them).
In a small parish in Watertown and working behind the scenes as a 9th grader I learned a few things that going to the Elementary and Junior High School never taught me:
-A couple of the priests drank A LOT - they would fill up a large glass tumbler with ice each night and retire to their rooms asking not to be disturbed unless it was an emergency. One day when poking around the confines of the house I found (da da da da) the liquor cabinet which was larger then the closet that my husband and I share at home.
-One of said priests was very touch-feely with the students that worked there. Now I wouldn't say he was a bad guy or that it was molestation/harassment . . . it was just what we DSS workers would call "inappropriate" back in my internship in college. He also had a talent of telling really dumb jokes (like, "hey - you look like a million bucks, all green and wrinkled").
-After working at the rectory for about 6 months I found out that the pastor had been sneaking around with a girlfriend. This apparently had been public knowledge for a while but they were talented in keeping these kinds of things from the kids. He wasn't de-frocked but was moved away to another parish. The damage however had been done - he had taken church money for his GF and the high school had closed. A very good principal from the elementary school was fired (rumor was because he "knew too much") and then a couple of years later the elementary school closed.
I want to say that I think the amount of people that do these kinds of things in ANY organized religion is small - I know it exists in the Catholic Church and that in the past "the church" entity has been good at sweeping things under the rug. I hope that this changes. I also hope though that people will cut the church some slack since not all affiliated are "bad" or "evil".
I'm glad this discussion was on the radio this morning - life was such a different world back then and it was nice to remember it again.
Do you have any similar stories to share? I find that when I've chatted with anyone else that worked either in a church (as an altar boy) or in a rectory there are always interesting stories to tell.
I worked at the rectory at my childhood church (the one that I would eventually be confirmed and married at) answering phones and filling out mass cards for people (you could make a small donation and have a person's name mentioned specifically for prayer at a mass). I think it was one of the easiest jobs I've had in my life - sit and do homework at the kitchen table, watch TV, drink all the free soda that I wanted out of the refrigerator and answer the phone or door from time to time.
The rectory was a grand old white home (I'm guessing a couple hundred years old just like the church) with high ceilings, stained glass, comfortable furniture in multiple sitting rooms and even some hidden rooms and doorways that went to nowhere (save a 30 foot drop from the third floor down to the first in the front hallway). There was a feeling of comfort in the place, it being decorated in all deep greens and reds and surrounded by old religions statuary and paintings. It was quiet (only the sound of the TV in the kitchen could be heard) most times - every once in a while you'd hear the murmur of a priest talking to someone in the front of the house (be it a young couple planning a wedding, an old lonely woman seeking counseling or a homeless alcoholic seeking some money and a place to sleep for the night).
For such a large church we had only a handful of priests and a couple of deacons - its actually gotten worse now where there are only 2 full time priests and then others that visit to help out until they are needed more elsewhere. The priests were always very sweet but weird at the same time (kind of like my family, for those of you who have met any of them).
In a small parish in Watertown and working behind the scenes as a 9th grader I learned a few things that going to the Elementary and Junior High School never taught me:
-A couple of the priests drank A LOT - they would fill up a large glass tumbler with ice each night and retire to their rooms asking not to be disturbed unless it was an emergency. One day when poking around the confines of the house I found (da da da da) the liquor cabinet which was larger then the closet that my husband and I share at home.
-One of said priests was very touch-feely with the students that worked there. Now I wouldn't say he was a bad guy or that it was molestation/harassment . . . it was just what we DSS workers would call "inappropriate" back in my internship in college. He also had a talent of telling really dumb jokes (like, "hey - you look like a million bucks, all green and wrinkled").
-After working at the rectory for about 6 months I found out that the pastor had been sneaking around with a girlfriend. This apparently had been public knowledge for a while but they were talented in keeping these kinds of things from the kids. He wasn't de-frocked but was moved away to another parish. The damage however had been done - he had taken church money for his GF and the high school had closed. A very good principal from the elementary school was fired (rumor was because he "knew too much") and then a couple of years later the elementary school closed.
I want to say that I think the amount of people that do these kinds of things in ANY organized religion is small - I know it exists in the Catholic Church and that in the past "the church" entity has been good at sweeping things under the rug. I hope that this changes. I also hope though that people will cut the church some slack since not all affiliated are "bad" or "evil".
I'm glad this discussion was on the radio this morning - life was such a different world back then and it was nice to remember it again.
Do you have any similar stories to share? I find that when I've chatted with anyone else that worked either in a church (as an altar boy) or in a rectory there are always interesting stories to tell.
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Date: 2002-01-11 09:09 am (UTC)One thing that is interesting about that though is how some members (particularly the older ones) tend to not want to hear about any of the Church's problems. I know that this has come up with my mother a few times. We'll be discussing some minor scandal or politically motivated decisions and she'll get offended that we would question "the church."
I've always thought that a strong organization can take criticism and grow and improve from it, but it appears that I'm in a minority when I try to apply this to church. In some particularly religious areas (like the southwest) questioning the church and trying to make it give up it's secrets is hugely unpopular. I've never quite understood that.
I agree with you that most people involved in church tend to be in it for good reasons and they tend to stay true to their callings. It's unfortunate that a few indiscretions by a few folks can make people seriously question their religion and/or faith, but it seems counterproductive to hide them (and then have to deal with additional fallout whenever they are discovered).
I've seen more than my share of questionable actions in the local church and yet I find that I still have faith (although it's somewhat different than it was when I was younger). I may not have a very high opinion of the church as an organization, but some of the folks who work in it are very good people. The good ones are probably the reason why I still identify myself as catholic (albeit one with a strong influence from eastern philosophies and some others).